Visit #10: Friday, June 13, 2014: 1:37 PM

Friday the 13th.  Superstitious folks would have me believe that something unpleasant has a better chance of happening on this particular day than on a "normal" day.  So I took a half-day's vacation from work to tempt fate.  Fittingly something rather unpleasant DID happen...more on that below.

Interesting fact:  On average, a Friday the 13th occurs once every 212 days (about every seven months).  The longest stretch of time that can pass without having a single Friday the 13th is 14 months.

Item #25:  MEXICAN PIZZA

Having never tried it prior to this visit, the Mexican Pizza seemed to me like something that had a chance to taste pretty damned good if it was executed well -- i.e., not half assed into some form of fast food mediocrity.  Calling it a "pizza" is probably a bit of a misnomer, but I'm not sure what else it could be called that would convey the concept of it just as well.

The official Taco Bell website description:

"Two crisp pizza shells filled with seasoned beef, hearty beans and then topped with pizza sauce, a three cheese blend melted to perfection, and topped with diced ripe tomatoes."

Price:  $3.19

Taste:  8.0 (out of 10)

Value:  6.0 (out of 10)

Overall Score:  7.5 (out of 10)

I am not sure how best to describe the crispy shells that comprise the underlying architecture of Taco Bell's Mexican Pizza; they are tasty, but they are definitely different than the crunchy taco shells on offer at the Border.  A little heavier, perhaps, more sturdy.  Overall, the Mexican Pizza is a solid success on the flavor front.  The tangy red sauce masquerading as "pizza sauce" here is probably more successful than in any other menu application; it cuts the acidity of the diced tomatoes quite nicely, and the always pleasing crunchy shell-beans-beef combination really shines here.

However, the bottom line is that this is not that much food for the price.  I am guessing the higher menu price is related to the relatively complicated (thus, probably more time-consuming) construction process of the Mexican Pizza.  There are a lot of ingredients that need to be stacked and arranged, then the whole thing is quartered for ease of consumption.  While it is a nice change of pace, there are many other items at Taco Bell that taste just as good (if not better) that offer superior value.

Item #26:  CHICKEN BURRITO SUPREME

And now we arrive at the aforementioned unpleasant Friday-the-13th happening.  While I haven't had much luck with the varieties of Taco Bell burritos that I have consumed thus far, this one would take Live Mas disappointment to its absolute nadir.

Per the Taco Bell website:

"A warm, soft flour tortilla wrapped around marinated all-white-meat chicken, hearty beans, tangy red sauce, crisp shredded lettuce, real cheddar cheese, diced onions, diced ripe tomatoes, and reduced-fat sour cream."

Price:  $3.19

Taste:  4.5 (out of 10)

Value:  5.5 (out of 10)

Overall Score:  4.8 (out of 10)

First of all:  Lettuce needs to breathe.  Everyone knows this.  Why doesn't Taco Bell know this?  When you stuff lettuce into a rolled up tortilla with piping hot chicken, said lettuce is going to mutate into something horrific.  Its texture is going to become the grist of nightmare mills.  And that is exactly what happened here.  Second of all, and perhaps a corollary to first of all:  Who the hell would want lettuce on a burrito anyhow?  Not this guy.

Secondly:  (Or thirdly?  Not sure.)  I have arrived at the conclusion that Taco Bell's grilled chicken is far superior to their marinated, shredded chicken.  (I fully realize that this is a reversal of my initial opinion regarding Taco Bell's chicken.)  At any rate, the chicken is rather difficult to detect in the Burrito Supreme.  The red sauce, melted cheese, beans, sour cream and chicken "marinade juice" combine to form an unpleasant-tasting orangey sludge.  The overall texture is extremely off-putting.  (Perhaps this would be less of an issue with the beef or steak versions of the Burrito Supreme, but you'd still have the lettuce to deal with.)

This was my most disappointing Live Mas menu selection to date.  It can only go up from here, dear reader!  (I hope?)

My ripoff slip -- I mean, receipt -- for today's meal:

Peace out.

Visit #9: Thursday, June 12, 2014: 6:56 PM

I had worked my ass off at the job on this particular day, arriving home a hot and sweaty mess.  I jumped in the shower and realized that I worked up quite a hunger.  I didn't really feel up to eating out, however, so I threw on a T-shirt and shorts and hit the drive thru.  Ah, the drive thru.  Thank Christ for the drive thru.  It's so convenient for those times when you pull into the Taco Bell parking lot and it resembles a Wal-Mart parking lot.  And also convenient for when you don't want to comb your hair or change out of sweatpants or chance seeing anyone you know or a million other reasons.

(According to some cursory research, In-n-Out Burger claims to have opened the first restaurant with a drive thru in Baldwin Park, California, back in 1948.  I have heard tell that In-n-Out Burger makes some tasty-ass burgers if you are ever out on the West Coast.)

Let's get started.

Item #22:  BEEFY NACHO LOADED GRILLER

You may recall, dear reader, that I was quite fond of the first species of "Loaded Griller" with which I had a culinary encounter:  the Chipotle Ranch Chicken Loaded Griller, which earned one of my highest scores to date.  I was able to achieve "Happier Hour" pricing on that particular purchase, making it a steal at $1.00.  I had to shell out $1.49 for this incarnation of the Loaded Griller since I purchased it after 5:00 PM.

The official Taco Bell website description:

"Delivers the taste of beefy cheesy nachos because we take our seasoned beef covered in warm nacho cheese sauce and crisp red strips for crunch, wrapped up in a warm flour tortilla and grilled so it's ready to eat on-the-go."

Price:  $1.49

Taste:  7.0 (out of 10)

Value:  8.5 (out of 10)

Overall Score:  7.4 (out of 10)

Like its brother from another mother (the Chipotle Ranch Chicken version), this baby packs formidable value.  This is a heaping helping of quasi-Mexican food for the price.  Unfortunately, from a taste perspective, it is not quite as successful.  It sounds crazy, but there might just be too much beef in this sucker.  The crunchy strips are a nice touch, though they obviously would turn soggy if this item weren't eaten immediately given the liberally applied nacho cheese sauce.  But to some degree it's just mouthful after mouthful of beef.  (Which is good if you're in a truly beefy mood, but not as good if you are an eater with a comparatively short attention span.  Which apparently I am.)

Also, now that I am many items in to my Live Mas adventure, I believe that I can state definitively that I do prefer the taste of Taco Bell's grilled tortilla over the ungrilled version.  It took a bit of getting used to initially, but it does add another flavor component that would otherwise be absent.  But I think this is a major reason why menu items such as the Meximelt, the soft taco and a few different burritos have earned relatively disappointing marks.

Item #23:  CHICKEN QUESADILLA

I have quite a lot of experience with quesadillas.  When I was younger and found myself in unfamiliar culinary territory -- i.e., a Mexican restaurant -- the quesadilla was my go-to option.  Eventually I found that my favorite type of quesadilla is generally the shrimp quesadilla, provided that the shrimp tastes fresh of course.  Which got me to thinking about an interesting point:  there is no seafood at Taco Bell.

I traveled to Hawaii a few years ago, and one of the best meals of my life was a meal where I consumed shrimp & fish tacos at a simple roadside stand.  They were so delicious.  I have a feeling that this deliciousness was because the principal ingredients were extremely fresh.  This would be the main challenge in bringing fish or shrimp tacos to Taco Bell, I suppose.  But I wonder if Taco Bell couldn't employ a technique that it already uses with its potatoes:  frying them.  The fish could ostensibly be breaded then frozen.  When needed, it could be fried, then lovingly placed in a crunchy or soft taco shell.  Perhaps it is just wishful thinking, but pretty much every other fast food chain has been able to add fried seafood items to their menus, for better or worse.

But ultimately that is an issue to be settled at another time.  For the time being I had to "settle" for the Chicken Quesadilla.

The official Taco Bell website description:

"Grilled and marinated all-white-meat chicken combined with a three cheese blend and a creamy jalapeño sauce all folded in a freshly grilled tortilla."

Price:  $3.19

Taste:  8.5 (out of 10)

Value:  5.5 (out of 10)

Overall Score:  7.8 (out of 10)

This is one of the best-tasting items on the Taco Bell menu.  But there just isn't much food for the price.  The grilled chicken pieces are delicious and texturally pleasing, but they are too few and far between.  On the other hand, the jalapeño sauce combined with the three-cheese blend creates a sublime flavor that I wish was just a little bit spicier, but is otherwise without fault.

The packaging of the quesadilla at Taco Bell is a little bit strange, which turns out to be a detriment of sorts.  The overall shape of the quesadilla is a half-moon, but it comes in a rectangular envelope that sports a clear plastic window.  Since the quesadilla is grilled, it goes into the package piping hot.  This creates condensation on the inside of the window, which can make the last bite or two to come out of the envelope a bit slimy.  I simply don't think it's necessary for me to see inside the package before I open it.

Item #24:  CHURRO

Ah, dessert.  My eternal nemesis.  Today's sugary opponent:  the Churro.

The official Taco Bell website description:

"Taco Bell's version of the Mexican donut, dusted in cinnamon sugar and served warm."

Price:  $0.99

Taste:  8.5 (out of 10)

Value:  7.5 (out of 10)

Overall Score:  8.3 (out of 10)

I was worried that the Churro would be chewy and stale.  Nothing could be further from the reality that I experienced.  This baby was pure dessert heaven.  It combined all the best parts of a fried funnel cake and a fresh donut.  It was warm and sweet, but not overly sweet.  It struck a really nice balance between texture and flavor.  My only quibble would be that it's not huge for the price, but it's not a ripoff.  (Having said all of that, I'm kind of disappointed because I am pretty certain that I will not like any of the remaining dessert items as much as the Churro.)

As always, proof of my plunder:

Keep living mas, peeps.  Till next time...

Visit #8: Sunday, June 8, 2014: 4:30 PM

I have admittedly been slacking off with my Taco Bell responsibilities lately.  I am going to try to right this ship tomorrow evening with a visit to Taco Bell:  if I am successful with following through on this intention, it will mark my first three-days-in-succession visiting streak to the Bell.  Not really a big deal, I know, but it's a starting point.

Today (a Sunday) I saved up my appetite since I had resolved to conquer one of the reputedly larger items on the Taco Bell menu.  (See more below.)  But just because I would be tackling a serious quantity of food did not mean that I would not be supplementing this selection with some other menu items.  The first of these:

Item #19:  CHICKEN CHALUPA SUPREME

In my own mind there has historically been some confusion as to what exactly a chalupa was.  I never knew the difference between a gordita and a chalupa, for instance.  According to some quick Internet searches, chalupas were introduced at Taco Bell at some point during 1999.  The Taco Bell chihuahua was a staple of Taco Bell's advertising during this time.  In traditional Mexican cuisine, chalupas are deep-fried, shallow, crisp cups made from cornmeal; these cups are then filled with various meat and vegetable combinations.  (The traditional Mexican chalupa is apparently not taco-shaped.)

For my meal this afternoon I went with the chicken chalupa, rather than beef or steak.  The official Taco Bell website description:

"A crispy, chewy chalupa shell filled with marinated and grilled all-white-meat chicken, reduced-fat sour cream, crisp shredded lettuce, a three cheese blend and diced ripe tomatoes."

Price:  $2.99

Taste:  7.5 (out of 10)

Value:  6.0 (out of 10)

Overall Score:  7.1 (out of 10)

I love the chalupa shell portion of the chalupa.  It is a fast food texture like almost no other.  It is crispy and chewy and flaky and soft all at the same time.  The sour cream plays very nicely with this unique texture.  This was also the first time I have encountered grilled chicken in a Taco Bell menu item; all previous chicken selections on this Live Mas adventure featured shredded chicken.  I added a packet of Salsa Verde and a packet of Fire Sauce, and I feel like that was a dead-on condiment combination.

In the context of the chalupa, I feel the texture of the grilled chicken is the right choice.  However, I would say that the flavor of the shredded chicken is a bit more robust than that of the grilled chicken.  Still, it is hard to find fault with anything taste-wise in the chicken version of the Chalupa Supreme other than the lettuce.  Perhaps it is because of the unique texture of the chalupa, or perhaps it was a random over-helping of lettuce, or perhaps the chalupa just holds more lettuce because it is a little roomier -- whatever the reality, the overwhelming perception that I had was that there was just too much lettuce.

Item #20:  NACHOS BELL GRANDE

Earlier in my Live Mas adventure I encountered Taco Bell's Nachos Supreme.  From both the Taco Bell website description and my own Internet "research" it was not immediately clear whether there was any difference between said Nachos Supreme and the Bell's Nachos Bell Grande other than the obviously more notable name and, of course, size.  (One "research" finding seemed to indicate that the only difference would be the number of sheets of toilet paper needed after the fact.)  So today I resolved to put that ambiguity to bed.  So to accompany the definitely-not-small Chicken Chalupa Supreme, I ordered the always impressive-sounding NACHOS BELL GRANDE.  The official Taco Bell website description:

"A large platter of crisp, freshly prepared daily tortilla chips covered with hearty beans, seasoned beef, warm nacho cheese sauce, diced ripe tomatoes, and reduced-fat sour cream."

Price:  $2.99

Taste:  8.0 (out of 10)

Value:  8.5 (out of 10)

Overall Score:  8.1 (out of 10)

Dear reader, after struggling to put away the Nachos Bell Grande -- and remember, to be fair, I had already consumed an entire Chalupa Supreme at this point -- I can attest that the only noticeable difference between the Nachos Supreme and Nachos Bell Grande is indeed size.  And a glorious difference it is...for instance, I had no issues with running out of chips before the toppings were pretty much completely finished as I did with the Nachos Supreme.  When you consider that there is only an $0.80 price difference, it's a no-brainer -- assuming you are that hungry.  Tasty, tasty, tasty and great value.

Item #21:  CINNAMON TWISTS

I am not a dessert guy.  I never have been, and I probably never will be.  So while I initially thought that the most challenging portion of my Live Mas adventure would perhaps be the breakfast menu -- due to the limited hours of availability -- I am beginning to suspect that it will in fact be the dessert menu that presents the most daunting challenge.  As a result, today I decided that I needed to begin dipping my toe into those sugary waters.  Item #1:  an order of Cinnamon Twists.  (I was pretty sure that they would either be gross or stale.  Or both.)  From the Taco Bell website:

"Crispy, puffed corn twists, sprinkled with cinnamon and sugar."

Price:  $0.89

Taste:  8.0 (out of 10)

Value:  8.0 (out of 10)

Overall Score:  8.0 (out of 10)

To say that my expectations for the Cinnamon Twists were low would be a bit of an understatement.  But they were tasty.  Really tasty.  If you have ever had Cinnamon Toast Crunch, that gives you an idea of what the flavor is like.  However, there was also a bit of a spicy note.  This helped to cut what might have otherwise been borderline-excessive sweetness.  But the best part of this little bag of tastiness is the texture...really light and airy, but super crispy as well.  There was not even a hint of staleness, so perhaps these are prepared daily in addition to the tortilla chips.  Maybe this dessert thing won't be so awful after all.  (But it probably will be.)

As always, the bill of goods received:

Peace out until tomorrow, home slices.

Visit #7: Saturday, June 7, 2014: 10:17 AM

I had a bit of a rough week at work.  Consequently, I hadn't been feeling much like eating supper of late; thus, no Taco Bell experiences to report since last weekend.  The solution?  Breakfast!

Before I get to the food, I want to gripe about something.  A ridiculous complaint, really, but one I feel should be addressed at least in passing.  One of the menu items I ordered for breakfast came in a paper wrapper.  A lot of Taco Bell menu selections come in this type of a wrapper.  Many menu selections from other fast food restaurants come in such a wrapper as well.  For some reason -- I don't know why -- I happened to glance down at my wrapper after I finished consuming its contents.

"We want to hear about your visit!"  That's a nice enough sentiment.  The next line is the one that puzzled me:  "WARNING:  DO NOT REHEAT THIS PACKAGE."  I don't understand how reheating a paper wrapper could be dangerous.  It could definitely be dangerous to reheat the contents of the package; the prospect of consuming reheated/microwaved Taco Bell sounds a bit terrifying.  My natural skepticism leads me to believe that this is simply a ploy by the Bell to coerce consumers to buy new Taco Bell rather than reheat leftover Taco Bell.  (After all, it doesn't explicitly say that reheating is dangerous, just that you shouldn't do it.)  On to the food.

Item #17:  A.M. GRILLED TACO W/BACON

On Breakfast Visit #1 I consumed the shockingly yummy Waffle Taco with Sausage.  Today I tried another variation on the breakfast taco:  The A.M. Grilled Taco with Bacon.  From the Taco Bell website:

"Fluffy scrambled eggs, melted cheddar cheese and flavorful bacon folded in a warm tortilla and grilled for portability."

Price:  $1.00

Taste:  7.5 (out of 10)

Value:  7.5 (out of 10)

Overall Score:  7.5 (out of 10)

First, the positives:  There was a delightfully crispy texture to the grilled tortilla itself.  This was unexpected and ensured that the texture would not be one-note.  Also, the bacon and cheese flavors played nicely with the Fire Sauce that I applied (a breakfast first!).

But the bacon was once again present in tiny, fragmented form.  Sigh.  The eggs suffered a bit of compacting -- just as they did in the A.M. Crunchwrap -- so I am guessing this is an unfortunate consequence of the grilling process.  (They were wonderfully fluffy in the ungrilled Waffle Taco.)  Perhaps most egregiously, the whole Grilled Taco w/Bacon seemed too empty.  (See picture below.)  Not a bad little breakfast bite overall -- especially for the price -- but nothing exceptional here.

Item #18:  STEAK & EGG CHEESY BURRITO

As a broad statement I would say that thus far in my "Live Mas" eating experience I have enjoyed Taco Bell's taco offerings more so than their burrito offerings.  Not so today, my friend.  Today I was introduced to the Steak & Egg Cheesy Burrito.  From the Taco Bell website:

"Fluffy scrambled eggs, lots of warm, melted cheddar cheese, marinated, premium thick cut steak, and creamy jalapeño sauce all wrapped up in a warm flour tortilla."

Price:  $2.49

Taste:  8.5 (out of 10)

Value:  8.0 (out of 10)

Overall Score:  8.4 (out of 10)

The first thing I noted, as with other Taco Bell burrito offerings, was the heft.  This is a not insignificant  portion of breakfast food.  First bite:  plenty of tasty (if not necessarily juicy, since the steak at Taco Bell only appears to come "well done") steak and cheesy goodness.  There were lots of eggs too, probably just a bit too many.  It wasn't notably spicy in spite of the jalapeño sauce, so I did add a bit of Fire Sauce to the second half of the Steak & Egg Cheesy Burrito.

This baby did not have the shocking "Wow" factor that the Waffle Taco did.  But the Steak & Egg Burrito is a shining example of what Taco Bell is capable of when they apply their menu and ingredient strengths in a way that uses common sense.  I could easily see myself enjoying one of these on a weekly basis.  It seems so simple in concept but many fast food restaurant chains just don't get it.  They constantly seek to invent new menu items that stray further and further from their core competencies and the results are most often disastrous.

It seems clear to me that the Steak & Egg Burrito should be added to Taco Bell's lunch and dinner menus as well.  Other than that, nicely done Taco Bell.

Here is the evidentiary receipt:

Till next time, keep Living Mas.