Visit #12: Wednesday, June 18, 2014: 5:52 PM

It has been my experience that when a fast food chain "introduces" a new menu item -- especially a specialty item that claims to be an entirely new culinary invention -- the result invariably feels forced and tastes like...disappointment.  Taco Bell's latest advertising push following the introduction of their breakfast menu has been geared around the "Quesarito."  As tonight's installment of my Live Mas adventure was to revolve around the Quesarito, I didn't particularly like the odds of me having a positive dining experience.  

Item #29:  STEAK QUESARITO

I have been on the record as giving Taco Bell's inclusion of rice in various menu items less-than-exemplary marks.  So when I learned that rice was a component of Taco Bell's new Quesaritos, it really lowered my expectations.  New menu item that feels contrived + rice = probably pile of sadness.  But here goes nothing...

The official Taco Bell website description:

"The new Quesarito is the best of quesadilla and tortilla rolled into one.  It's filled with marinated steak, premium Latin rice, Chipotle sauce, reduced-fat sour cream, and then wrapped up in a grilled quesadilla loaded with melted cheeses."

Price:  $2.99

Taste:  9.0 (out of 10)

Value:  8.0 (out of 10)

Overall Score:  8.8 (out of 10)

Wow.  I haven't been this completely wrong about having negative expectations for a Taco Bell menu item since the day that I ordered the Waffle Taco.  The Quesarito is simply delicious.  First of all, the Chipotle sauce adds the perfect amount of heat.  Second of all, it's almost flawless texturally -- the steak, grilled quesadilla, and rice provide nice contrasts.  (I do fear that the whole package might not shine as much has I ordered the ground beef version rather than steak.)  The grilled flavor of the quesadilla was just as tasty as when I ordered the Chicken Quesadilla.

Another plus:  it comes in a premium-feeling foil wrapper.  (See first picture above.)  I drove about 25 minutes after picking up the Quesarito at the drive thru window before eating it.  It was still piping hot and very fresh.  This foil wrapper is a nice touch.  Another positive:  this is a nice volume of food for $2.99.  Very filling and satisfying.  All in all, well done, Taco Bell.

And now, time for dessert.

Item #30:  BROWNIE SANDWICH

I actually picked up a Brownie Sandwich on my previous visit to Taco Bell about 48 hours earlier.  I glanced at it quickly that day and it appeared to be a pre-made and pre-packaged concoction similar to a typical Little Debbie snack.  After finishing my Quesarito, I examined the pre-purchased chocolate treat in more detail.

Upon further handling, the package was not vacuum-sealed like a factory-made product would be.  It was in a plastic sleeve sealed with a little sticker.  This seal could not have been air tight, however, so at this point I uttered "Oh shit," and figured I was in for some stale pastry fare.  For better or worse, I opened it up and took a bite.

From the Taco Bell website:

"Two delicious triangle-shaped brownies with creamy fudge frosting filling in between."

Price:  $1.29

Taste:  8.0 (out of 10)

Value:  7.5 (out of 10)

Overall Score:  7.9 (out of 10)

And amazingly, it wasn't stale at all.  It was soft and pillowy.  The icing that forms the "meat" of the sandwich wasn't too sweet either.  There were little pieces of embedded hard chocolate in the brownies themselves that were a nice touch.  And it was almost too large for me to finish after consuming the Quesarito.  In my opinion, Taco Bell did not screw this one up from a taste/value perspective.

My one quibble about this menu item would be this:  it would appear to be the only menu item on Taco Bell's entire menu that is entirely devoid of their quasi-Mexican influence.  Perhaps that is a minor detail, but it seems like a little bit of a sellout.

The receipt:

**We have now hit the 30-menu-items consumed milestone.  By my approximate count, I have 24 menu items remaining.  (More than halfway home!)  This does not include all of the possible variations of each menu item; for instance, many tacos and burritos are available in beef, chicken, and steak varieties.  I am generally consuming only one iteration of each menu item for my Live Mas Adventure.**

Visit #11: Monday, June 16, 2014: 6:12 PM

I dined in at Taco Bell on this visit.  When it is relatively uncrowded (based on a cursory parking lot analysis) inside the restaurant, this really is the way to go.  It is remarkable how much better I have found The Border's food to taste when consuming it just 5 or 10 minutes before I otherwise would have had I resorted to ordering through the drive thru window.

But as luck would have it, shortly after walking into the restaurant, the skies outside blackened, and some truly biblical weather ensued.  This kept any additional potential patrons from entering the restaurant -- a definite plus -- but it was a little unsettling when the lights began to flicker a bit and the thunder grew so loud that I felt it transmitting into my body from my hard plastic chair.  Also, I was trapped for a few minutes after I got done eating.  Oh well.

(You may notice from my receipt that I purchased a Brownie Sandwich along with the two other items from tonight's meal that I am reviewing below.  For reasons unknown -- perhaps my concern at being swept away in a tornado was to blame -- my appetite was not at its peak on this particular evening.  The thought of attacking the Brownie Sandwich after already eating a sizable portion of food was not an appealing one, so I reserved it to consume after my next Taco Bell meal.  I will provide the review for the Brownie Sandwich in that meal's post.)

Item #27:  BEEFY 5-LAYER BURRITO

I have been on the record as saying that in general, Taco Bell's burritos have been the most disappointing category of Border cuisine.  Tonight gave me a bit more hope.  And as any person with their salt knows:  "Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies."  Tonight's burrito selection:  the Beefy 5-Layer Burrito.

The official Taco Bell website description:

"Layers of seasoned beef, beans, real cheddar cheese and cool reduced-fat sour cream all wrapped in a flour tortilla with a special layer of warm nacho cheese sauce."

Price:  $1.29

Taste:  8.0 (out of 10)

Value:  9.5 (out of 10)

Overall Score:  8.4 (out of 10)

Sometimes the best addition is a subtraction.  The subtraction that I am referring to in this instance is rice.  Rice in and of itself does not a bad burrito make.  But I do feel like it makes the proper flavor/texture balance more difficult to achieve.  Everything needs to be spot-on for the rice to seem like it belongs.  Leaving the rice out allows for a wider margin of error.  The Beefy 5-Layer Burrito doesn't knock you over with spectacular flavors, but texturally it is near perfect and at $1.29 delivers incredible value.

All of the flavors here work very well together, particular the beef and the beans.  Taco Bell was also wise not to "over-beef" this burrito.  There is just the right amount.  That said, it is still a very sizable meal for the price, and is easily my favorite Taco Bell burrito to date.

Item #28:  NACHOS & CHEESE W/CORN SALSA

The corn salsa served at Chipotle restaurants is certainly among my favorite condiments on Earth.  In perusing Taco Bell's website, I noted that Taco Bell also offered their side of Nachos with corn salsa.  I wasn't entirely sure what to expect, although I was pretty certain that it would not be on the level of the product offered at Chipotle.  I figured "what the hell," because I needed to cross it off my list.

The official Taco Bell website description:

"Roasted corn and pepper salsa, paired with crispy tortilla chips."

Price:  $1.49**

Taste:  7.0 (out of 10)

Value:  7.0 (out of 10)

Overall Score:  7.0 (out of 10)

This was without a doubt my most amusing checkout experience to date.  As previously mentioned, I dined in on this occasion.  I have been doing this pretty frequently of late and thus remembered tonight's cashier from previous visits to this Taco Bell location, so he was not a new employee.  He looked to be approximately college-aged with scruffy hair poking out from underneath his Taco Bell cap.  I ordered the Beefy 5-Layer Burrito first -- no problems there.

Next up:  a side of Nachos with Corn Salsa.  He hunted around the computer screen for about a full minute.  It was actually getting a little bit uncomfortable.  I was just about to say "Don't worry about it" and order something different, but he found it just in time.  (I guess that tells you all you need to know about how often a customer orders corn salsa at Taco Bell, and sadly, probably tells you all you need to know about said salsa's freshness.)

You will notice an asterisk on the $1.49 price above.  I am not sure whether it was a cashier error, or if one simply cannot get a side of Taco Bell nachos without nacho cheese, but I received cups of both nacho cheese AND corn salsa.  (See picture above.)  I was charged $0.30 for the corn salsa and $1.19 for the nachos and nacho cheese.  Which turned out to be quite a happy accident, because upon trying a chip dipped only in the corn salsa, the flavor was too bland for my liking.  There was a faintly sweet and roasted flavor that was definitely not unpleasant -- there just wasn't enough of it.

The other problem that I initially encountered was that the corn salsa had difficulty staying put on top of the chip.  The solution that I implemented was nothing short of genius** -- I dipped each chip in the nacho cheese first, then executed a follow-up dip in the corn salsa.  The resultant flavor was not exceptional, but it was certainly a huge improvement on the dipped-only-in-salsa flavor.  The other bonus was that the nacho cheese caused the corn salsa to adhere to the chips much more effectively.  The nacho cheese and corn salsa combo is a solid combination, but not a particularly remarkable one.

(**Actually, no genius was involved.)

**UPDATE:  Corn Salsa appears to have been discontinued as a menu offering.  It's probably for the best.**

As always, the receipt:

Peace out, loyal readers.  Stay tuned for the riveting conclusion to the Brownie Sandwich saga!

Visit #10: Friday, June 13, 2014: 1:37 PM

Friday the 13th.  Superstitious folks would have me believe that something unpleasant has a better chance of happening on this particular day than on a "normal" day.  So I took a half-day's vacation from work to tempt fate.  Fittingly something rather unpleasant DID happen...more on that below.

Interesting fact:  On average, a Friday the 13th occurs once every 212 days (about every seven months).  The longest stretch of time that can pass without having a single Friday the 13th is 14 months.

Item #25:  MEXICAN PIZZA

Having never tried it prior to this visit, the Mexican Pizza seemed to me like something that had a chance to taste pretty damned good if it was executed well -- i.e., not half assed into some form of fast food mediocrity.  Calling it a "pizza" is probably a bit of a misnomer, but I'm not sure what else it could be called that would convey the concept of it just as well.

The official Taco Bell website description:

"Two crisp pizza shells filled with seasoned beef, hearty beans and then topped with pizza sauce, a three cheese blend melted to perfection, and topped with diced ripe tomatoes."

Price:  $3.19

Taste:  8.0 (out of 10)

Value:  6.0 (out of 10)

Overall Score:  7.5 (out of 10)

I am not sure how best to describe the crispy shells that comprise the underlying architecture of Taco Bell's Mexican Pizza; they are tasty, but they are definitely different than the crunchy taco shells on offer at the Border.  A little heavier, perhaps, more sturdy.  Overall, the Mexican Pizza is a solid success on the flavor front.  The tangy red sauce masquerading as "pizza sauce" here is probably more successful than in any other menu application; it cuts the acidity of the diced tomatoes quite nicely, and the always pleasing crunchy shell-beans-beef combination really shines here.

However, the bottom line is that this is not that much food for the price.  I am guessing the higher menu price is related to the relatively complicated (thus, probably more time-consuming) construction process of the Mexican Pizza.  There are a lot of ingredients that need to be stacked and arranged, then the whole thing is quartered for ease of consumption.  While it is a nice change of pace, there are many other items at Taco Bell that taste just as good (if not better) that offer superior value.

Item #26:  CHICKEN BURRITO SUPREME

And now we arrive at the aforementioned unpleasant Friday-the-13th happening.  While I haven't had much luck with the varieties of Taco Bell burritos that I have consumed thus far, this one would take Live Mas disappointment to its absolute nadir.

Per the Taco Bell website:

"A warm, soft flour tortilla wrapped around marinated all-white-meat chicken, hearty beans, tangy red sauce, crisp shredded lettuce, real cheddar cheese, diced onions, diced ripe tomatoes, and reduced-fat sour cream."

Price:  $3.19

Taste:  4.5 (out of 10)

Value:  5.5 (out of 10)

Overall Score:  4.8 (out of 10)

First of all:  Lettuce needs to breathe.  Everyone knows this.  Why doesn't Taco Bell know this?  When you stuff lettuce into a rolled up tortilla with piping hot chicken, said lettuce is going to mutate into something horrific.  Its texture is going to become the grist of nightmare mills.  And that is exactly what happened here.  Second of all, and perhaps a corollary to first of all:  Who the hell would want lettuce on a burrito anyhow?  Not this guy.

Secondly:  (Or thirdly?  Not sure.)  I have arrived at the conclusion that Taco Bell's grilled chicken is far superior to their marinated, shredded chicken.  (I fully realize that this is a reversal of my initial opinion regarding Taco Bell's chicken.)  At any rate, the chicken is rather difficult to detect in the Burrito Supreme.  The red sauce, melted cheese, beans, sour cream and chicken "marinade juice" combine to form an unpleasant-tasting orangey sludge.  The overall texture is extremely off-putting.  (Perhaps this would be less of an issue with the beef or steak versions of the Burrito Supreme, but you'd still have the lettuce to deal with.)

This was my most disappointing Live Mas menu selection to date.  It can only go up from here, dear reader!  (I hope?)

My ripoff slip -- I mean, receipt -- for today's meal:

Peace out.

Visit #9: Thursday, June 12, 2014: 6:56 PM

I had worked my ass off at the job on this particular day, arriving home a hot and sweaty mess.  I jumped in the shower and realized that I worked up quite a hunger.  I didn't really feel up to eating out, however, so I threw on a T-shirt and shorts and hit the drive thru.  Ah, the drive thru.  Thank Christ for the drive thru.  It's so convenient for those times when you pull into the Taco Bell parking lot and it resembles a Wal-Mart parking lot.  And also convenient for when you don't want to comb your hair or change out of sweatpants or chance seeing anyone you know or a million other reasons.

(According to some cursory research, In-n-Out Burger claims to have opened the first restaurant with a drive thru in Baldwin Park, California, back in 1948.  I have heard tell that In-n-Out Burger makes some tasty-ass burgers if you are ever out on the West Coast.)

Let's get started.

Item #22:  BEEFY NACHO LOADED GRILLER

You may recall, dear reader, that I was quite fond of the first species of "Loaded Griller" with which I had a culinary encounter:  the Chipotle Ranch Chicken Loaded Griller, which earned one of my highest scores to date.  I was able to achieve "Happier Hour" pricing on that particular purchase, making it a steal at $1.00.  I had to shell out $1.49 for this incarnation of the Loaded Griller since I purchased it after 5:00 PM.

The official Taco Bell website description:

"Delivers the taste of beefy cheesy nachos because we take our seasoned beef covered in warm nacho cheese sauce and crisp red strips for crunch, wrapped up in a warm flour tortilla and grilled so it's ready to eat on-the-go."

Price:  $1.49

Taste:  7.0 (out of 10)

Value:  8.5 (out of 10)

Overall Score:  7.4 (out of 10)

Like its brother from another mother (the Chipotle Ranch Chicken version), this baby packs formidable value.  This is a heaping helping of quasi-Mexican food for the price.  Unfortunately, from a taste perspective, it is not quite as successful.  It sounds crazy, but there might just be too much beef in this sucker.  The crunchy strips are a nice touch, though they obviously would turn soggy if this item weren't eaten immediately given the liberally applied nacho cheese sauce.  But to some degree it's just mouthful after mouthful of beef.  (Which is good if you're in a truly beefy mood, but not as good if you are an eater with a comparatively short attention span.  Which apparently I am.)

Also, now that I am many items in to my Live Mas adventure, I believe that I can state definitively that I do prefer the taste of Taco Bell's grilled tortilla over the ungrilled version.  It took a bit of getting used to initially, but it does add another flavor component that would otherwise be absent.  But I think this is a major reason why menu items such as the Meximelt, the soft taco and a few different burritos have earned relatively disappointing marks.

Item #23:  CHICKEN QUESADILLA

I have quite a lot of experience with quesadillas.  When I was younger and found myself in unfamiliar culinary territory -- i.e., a Mexican restaurant -- the quesadilla was my go-to option.  Eventually I found that my favorite type of quesadilla is generally the shrimp quesadilla, provided that the shrimp tastes fresh of course.  Which got me to thinking about an interesting point:  there is no seafood at Taco Bell.

I traveled to Hawaii a few years ago, and one of the best meals of my life was a meal where I consumed shrimp & fish tacos at a simple roadside stand.  They were so delicious.  I have a feeling that this deliciousness was because the principal ingredients were extremely fresh.  This would be the main challenge in bringing fish or shrimp tacos to Taco Bell, I suppose.  But I wonder if Taco Bell couldn't employ a technique that it already uses with its potatoes:  frying them.  The fish could ostensibly be breaded then frozen.  When needed, it could be fried, then lovingly placed in a crunchy or soft taco shell.  Perhaps it is just wishful thinking, but pretty much every other fast food chain has been able to add fried seafood items to their menus, for better or worse.

But ultimately that is an issue to be settled at another time.  For the time being I had to "settle" for the Chicken Quesadilla.

The official Taco Bell website description:

"Grilled and marinated all-white-meat chicken combined with a three cheese blend and a creamy jalapeño sauce all folded in a freshly grilled tortilla."

Price:  $3.19

Taste:  8.5 (out of 10)

Value:  5.5 (out of 10)

Overall Score:  7.8 (out of 10)

This is one of the best-tasting items on the Taco Bell menu.  But there just isn't much food for the price.  The grilled chicken pieces are delicious and texturally pleasing, but they are too few and far between.  On the other hand, the jalapeño sauce combined with the three-cheese blend creates a sublime flavor that I wish was just a little bit spicier, but is otherwise without fault.

The packaging of the quesadilla at Taco Bell is a little bit strange, which turns out to be a detriment of sorts.  The overall shape of the quesadilla is a half-moon, but it comes in a rectangular envelope that sports a clear plastic window.  Since the quesadilla is grilled, it goes into the package piping hot.  This creates condensation on the inside of the window, which can make the last bite or two to come out of the envelope a bit slimy.  I simply don't think it's necessary for me to see inside the package before I open it.

Item #24:  CHURRO

Ah, dessert.  My eternal nemesis.  Today's sugary opponent:  the Churro.

The official Taco Bell website description:

"Taco Bell's version of the Mexican donut, dusted in cinnamon sugar and served warm."

Price:  $0.99

Taste:  8.5 (out of 10)

Value:  7.5 (out of 10)

Overall Score:  8.3 (out of 10)

I was worried that the Churro would be chewy and stale.  Nothing could be further from the reality that I experienced.  This baby was pure dessert heaven.  It combined all the best parts of a fried funnel cake and a fresh donut.  It was warm and sweet, but not overly sweet.  It struck a really nice balance between texture and flavor.  My only quibble would be that it's not huge for the price, but it's not a ripoff.  (Having said all of that, I'm kind of disappointed because I am pretty certain that I will not like any of the remaining dessert items as much as the Churro.)

As always, proof of my plunder:

Keep living mas, peeps.  Till next time...