Today marked my second run to the border (Yes, I know that "Make a run for the border" has not been a part of Taco Bell's advertising lexicon since the early 90's, but those were my formative years, dammit!) since the start of my epic campaign to eat my way through the entire menu. It was a bit of a crazy day at work and I only had time to cruise through the drive thru -- no dining in for me this evening.
**Tantrum Tangent**
Allow me to digress for a moment. I mentioned above that I did not have all the time in the world for eating tonight. As I could see the Taco Bell drive thru as I approached the restaurant, I noted that there were only two vehicles waiting and thought this would be a pretty speedy endeavor. I was WRONG.
A huge jacked-up pickup truck driven by a blonde woman came from the other direction and just beat me into the drive thru lane. No big deal, this was just one more vehicle to wait for; plus, by the time I came to a stop the first of the aforementioned two vehicles had already pulled away. At this point it was just the one vehicle at the window, then the pickup truck at the ordering speaker, then me.
I began to have inklings that things might be progressing in a less than ideal fashion when I noticed that the blonde woman was asking questions. Lots of questions. I couldn't make out much of what she was asking but I caught snippets like "Do you have..." and "Can I get..." and so forth. The ordering process took her about two full minutes. I once again figured this was no big deal -- she probably wasn't too familiar with the Taco Bell menu, but what the hell, she had managed to make her selections and had pulled up to the window.
I placed my order quickly (since I knew what I wanted) and pulled up behind the pickup truck. I saw food being passed from the window to the blonde woman and waited expectantly for the truck to pull forward. This did not happen. I saw a Taco Bell employee leaning out the window and gesturing with her hands. This was followed by the blonde woman waving the receipt out the window and also gesturing.
At this point a bag of food passed from the truck back into the hands of the employee at the window. I actually heard said employee say "Oh, you mean the burrito...the one that is wrapped in a soft tortilla." This blonde woman did not know what a fucking burrito was. The human race is doomed. These are the types of people who are reproducing. I am still so dumbfounded I can scarcely process what took place earlier tonight.
Sorry about that tangent...on to the main event!
**End Tantrum Tangent**
Item #4: CHEESY GORDITA CRUNCH
I chose only one menu item tonight: the Cheesy Gordita Crunch. I had been eyeing this particular item for quite a while and had decided that I would definitely be consuming one of these on one of my first few visits to the Bell. The official Taco Bell website description:
"Warm, pillowy flatbread covered in a melted three-cheese blend, wrapped around a crunchy taco and topped with a zesty Pepper Jack sauce."
Price: $2.49
Taste: 9.5 (out of 10)
Value: 7.5 (out of 10)
Overall Score: 9.0 (out of 10)
As I suspected it would be, the Cheesy Gordita Crunch was truly delicious. This is an inspired piece of fast food art. As I would suspect the case to be with most Taco Bell customers, my earliest memories of eating Taco Bell tacos are of eating their regular crunchy tacos. Crunchy taco shells taste good! My issue with crunchy taco shells is that they always feel a bit thin. You can eat three crunchy tacos and feel like you haven't eaten anything. (Maybe that's just me?) The Cheesy Gordita Crunch solves this problem. You get all of the crunchy goodness of the crunchy taco shell, plus the pillowy Gordita bread helps to make it a rather filling menu selection.
The other key here is the pepper jack sauce. I don't have any idea what ingredients comprise this sauce -- though I would be mildly surprised if there is actually any cheese in it -- but it is sooooo good. As per my usual routine, I doused the whole contraption with some Fire Sauce. This one's a winner, Taco Bell. My only mild gripe would be the price/value of the Cheesy Gordita Crunch. Compared to the sheer food volume of the similarly priced Cheesy Potato Burrito, this one comes up a bit short.
Here's my receipt for this evening's meal:
Keep it real, peeps. Until next time...
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