Visit #6: Sunday, June 1, 2014: 4:37 PM

I am not sure that I have adequately explained the level of Taco Bell "expertise" that I possessed when I started the "Live Mas" Taco Bell blog.  I was certainly casually familiar with Taco Bell...their advertisements have been rather ubiquitous for all of my adult life (and probably during my childhood as well, though my insulated upbringing prevents me from knowing this for sure).  I actually remember the first time I went to Taco Bell.  It was when I visited a prospective college campus -- it turned out to be the only one I visited and the one I attended from ages 18 to 21 -- while I was a senior in high school.  I don't remember what I ordered, but I would guess that it was a standard Crunchy Taco.

Growing up, my family never once purchased a meal from Taco Bell as far as I can recall.  This pronouncement should be much less shocking when contemplated within the context that I cannot recall my family purchasing a "pre-made" meal from ANY restaurant other than McDonald's, outside of perhaps purchasing a hot dog at a sporting event, during my entire childhood.  This was primarily due to financial limitations, but also partially due to a severe under-appreciation of good food.  This is all to say (in an admittedly roundabout way) that my only exposure to tacos growing up was to the standard crunchy ground beef tacos that were served in the school cafeterias and in the Ortega make-at-home taco kits.  So for probably the first 10 (maybe 20) visits that I made to The Border, Crunchy Tacos were all I that I ever ordered.

I remember during my time attending the aforementioned college that Taco Bell had a special on Sundays:  you could purchase unlimited Crunchy Tacos for 49 cents apiece.  I took advantage of this offer on a few occasions, but for whatever reason Taco Bell held limited appeal to me in those days.  During those college years I gravitated more towards pizza and take-out Chinese food for whatever reason.

Upon the inception of this blog, I would estimate that I had still visited Taco Bell fewer than 100 times in my entire life.  So while I did have some familiarity with the Bell, there were MANY menu items that I had never tried, and there had never really been a period in my life where Taco Bell had been a menu staple for me.  Today was visit #6 since just May 18th.  And I am merely getting started, dear reader.

Item #13:  NACHO CHEESE DORITOS LOCOS TACO SUPREME

I must disclose to you that I have been eager to try another Doritos Locos Taco following my positive experience with the unexpectedly amazing Spicy Chicken Cool Ranch Doritos Locos Taco.  I essentially have three more variations to tackle:  Cool Ranch Doritos (w/ beef), Nacho Cheese Doritos, and Fiery Doritos.  I opted to go with the Nacho Cheese Doritos Locos Taco, with an upgrade to Supreme.  The official Taco Bell website description:

"A Taco Supreme made with premium seasoned beef, crisp lettuce, diced juicy red ripe tomatoes, real cheddar cheese and topped with cool reduced-fat sour cream, in a shell made from Nacho Cheese Doritos Chips."

Price:  $1.79

Taste:  9.0 (out of 10)

Value:  7.5 (out of 10)

Overall Score:  8.6 (out of 10)

This variation on the Doritos Locos Taco was almost as successful as the afore-referenced Spicy Chicken Cool Ranch Doritos Locos Taco.  I honestly think the only facet that is slightly less successful is that the beef in this taco doesn't pack as much flavor as the spicy chicken in the other.  The sour cream was a nice addition (from the Supreme upgrade), melding well with the flavorful shell that was once again lovingly presented in a sturdy cardboard sleeve.  (The sleeve not only made eating a Crunchy Taco in the car feasible, it made it EASY.)

As with the Cool Ranch Doritos Locos Taco, I wouldn't necessarily say that the shell particularly tasted like Doritos.  And the texture of the shell is not particularly reminiscent of the texture of Doritos chips either.  But it was once again damn tasty.  If I said to you that I wasn't looking forward to iterations #3 and #4 of the Doritos Locos Tacos, I wouldn't be too eager to believe me.

Item #14:  CRISPY POTATO SOFT TACO

On Visit #1 I consumed the Cheesy Potato Burrito.  My take was that is was a generally positive -- if unremarkable -- experience, but the potatoes made the whole affair a bit heavy, and the sheer heft of the burrito made it somewhat of a challenge to finish.  Today I selected the similar, but meatless and less voluminous, Cheesy Potato Soft Taco.  From the Taco Bell website:

"A warm, soft flour tortilla filled with crispy potato bites, pepper jack sauce, crisp shredded lettuce, and real cheddar cheese."

Price:  $0.99

Taste:  7.5 (out of 10)

Value:  7.5 (out of 10)

Overall Score:  7.5 (out of 10)

My expectations were not spectacularly high for the Crispy Potato Soft Taco given my previous experience with the potato product offered by Taco Bell.  But a couple of things about the Crispy Potato Soft Taco helped it deliver unexpectedly positive marks:  #1.  Taco Bell wisely toned down the amount of potato here.  In smaller, more manageable numbers, the potatoes are unquestionably an asset.  #2.  Once again, the Bell's trusty Pepper Jack Sauce brought the thunder.  I am not sure if there is anything on Taco Bell's menu that wouldn't taste better with this mysterious sauce on it.

My only complaint here (refer to the picture above), and admittedly this is possibly a defect that can vary from specimen to specimen:  Lettuce, more lettuce, just too much lettuce.  This was easily remedied by removing about one-third of the lettuce.  For the cost, however, the Crispy Potato Soft Taco is a true bargain.  It would also be tough to imagine a better-tasting meatless option on the Taco Bell menu, although time will tell.

**UPDATE:  The Crispy Potato Soft Taco appears to have been discontinued.  It has, however, been reincarnated as the Spicy Potato Soft Taco, which I review later in my Live Mas adventure.**

Item #15:  BEAN BURRITO

I don't think I have ever had a meatless burrito before.  Of course, if I had lived a few hundred years ago, a meatless burrito would almost certainly have been the only burrito in town.  From a cursory examination of the "Burrito" entry on Wikipedia, burritos were developed by peoples in present-day Mexico and the southwestern United States.  Historically they were tortillas wrapped around fillings that included tomatoes, squash and mushrooms.  At some point beans began to be used, and eventually, meats.  Thank God for evolution.  The official Taco Bell website description:

"A warm, soft flour tortilla wrapped around hearty beans, real cheddar cheese, tangy red sauce and diced onions."

Price:  $0.99

Taste:  7.0 (out of 10)

Value:  9.0 (out of 10)

Overall Score:  7.5 (out of 10)

The onions and the red sauce worked well in unison here.  (I think this is the first Taco Bell menu item I have ever had that included onions.)  The crunchy onions helped break up the monotony of the slightly chalky texture of the beans.  The beans did have a nice, robust flavor though.  For the price and the amount of food here, the value is exceptional.  No frills, and nothing amazing in the flavor profile, but if you only have $0.99 -- first of all, I feel sorry for you, but secondly, you can't go wrong with Taco Bell's Bean Burrito.

Item #16:  CHIPOTLE RANCH CHICKEN LOADED GRILLER

Taco Bell's Loaded Griller series stomped onto the scene in late 2012.  At the time of their introduction, the lineup included the Beefy Nacho Loaded Griller, the Loaded Potato Griller and the Spicy Buffalo Chicken Loaded Griller.  The last of these was eventually replaced with the Chipotle Ranch Chicken Loaded Griller.  One positive aspect of the Loaded Griller lineup that you should try to exploit if possible is that they only cost $1.00 from 2:00PM to 5:00PM, seven days per week.  So I resolved to make certain that I take advantage of this special pricing on Saturdays and Sundays (since I work unit 5:00PM on weekdays).  Today I chose the newest entry in the Loaded Griller lineup:  the Chipotle Ranch Chicken.  From the Taco Bell website:

"Delivers the taste of spicy chicken wings with ranch dip because we take our grilled, all white meat, marinated chicken and cover it with kicked-up Chipotle Ranch Sauce and cool reduced-fat sour cream, then wrap it all up in a warm flour tortilla and grill it so it's ready to eat on-the-go."

Price:  $1.00  (special Happy Hour pricing)

Taste:  8.5 (out of 10)

Value:  10.0 (out of 10)

Overall Score:  8.9 (out of 10)

Wow.  This was nice.  First of all:  To date, this is the spiciest item I have consumed from Taco Bell that did not come in a small packet and with a label that reads "Fire Sauce."  It's nice not to have to douse out Fire Sauce to get that spicy kick that I enjoy.  Secondly:  the whole grilled chicken (not shredded) provided good chew and mouth feel.  My only complaint (a mild one) is that there is no secondary texture here:  just meat, tortilla and cheesy sauce.  But I cannot imagine a better value at Taco Bell when you take advantage of the special pricing.  This is a not-insignificant amount of food, and it's well worth a try.

As always, a copy of the receipt from my visit:

Today was a really successful visit.  I would give an overall "Thumbs Up" to every item I tried today.  Nice job, Taco Bell!  Keep living mas, peeps.

Visit #5: Saturday, May 31, 2014: 9:37 AM

If you haven't been living under a rock for the past few months, you have probably noticed that Taco Bell is now offering a breakfast menu.  There have been some pretty kick-ass ads -- notably the ones featuring "Ronald McDonald" -- and I had high hopes for the potential of these new additions to the Taco Bell menu.  There was only one major obstacle to me having the opportunity to savor these (hopefully) delectable breakfast innovations:  I am not a morning person.  Perhaps no one truly is, but I am the furthest thing from it, at the opposite end of the spectrum.  My non-morningness affects my stomach more so than any other facet of my being (other than my brain).  It has been relentlessly conditioned to reject all food -- other than super-bland fare such as buttered toast or granola bars -- that is consumed prior to approximately 11:00AM.

This of course poses a problem since Taco Bell STOPS serving breakfast at 11:00AM.  But this is a sacrifice that I am going to have to make to move this blog along towards completion since Taco Bell's menu offerings are quite extensive at breakfast time.  Weekdays are not a great breakfast option for me simply because I have to be at work by 8:30AM and there is no Taco Bell on my travel route to work.  So weekends it will have to be!  Thank goodness I like waking up early on weekends!  Oh wait.  I actually don't like doing that.  See what a sacrifice I am making for you, dear reader?  So yesterday was visit #5 -- but it was Breakfast Visit #1.  Breakfast is (was) served!

Item #11:  WAFFLE TACO WITH SAUSAGE

I am going to be up front with you:  this one frightened me.  I was certain that it was going to be rather epically gross.  There was not a single thing that appealed to me other than the always tasty egg & cheese combo.  Note from the first picture in this post that it came with a small package of syrup.  SYRUP!  This really made me nervous, since I had already figured on dousing this breakfast mutation in Mild Sauce -- I figured the Fire Sauce might be too much that early in the morning.  And I am guessing Mild Sauce mixed with Syrup might be enough to induce vomiting.  From the Taco Bell website:

"A warm waffle wrapped around a delicious sausage patty and fluffy scrambled eggs topped with cheese and served with a side of sweet syrup."

Price:  $1.99

Taste:  8.0 (out of 10)

Value:  8.0 (out of 10)

Overall Score:  8.0 (out of 10)

To give a fair and honest assessment of the Waffle Taco I resolved to take at least one bite unaltered by sauce or syrup.  I did so and was stunned -- in a good way.  The waffle was mildly sweet, but not cloyingly so, and had a pleasant, firm texture.  The sausage was mild-flavored, and the eggs and cheese were delicious.  Everything worked in concert here.  My brain started to think that a little syrup might not be the worst idea for an additive complement to this breakfast fare.  I poured the small side of syrup onto the Waffle Taco and went to town.  It was -- and I am still amazed to be saying this -- pretty damn delicious.  And as fast-food breakfast menu items go, this one was pretty reasonably priced for the amount of sustenance that I received.  Nice job, Taco Bell.  This unlikely oddball is a winner in my book.

Item #12:  A.M. CRUNCHWRAP WITH BACON

From the Taco Bell website:

"All the classic breakfast tastes like fluffy scrambled eggs, a golden crispy hash brown, real cheddar cheese, flavorful bacon and creamy jalapeño sauce wrapped up in a warm flour tortilla and grilled."

Price:  $2.49

Taste:  6.5 (out of 10)

Value:  6.0 (out of 10)

Overall Score:  6.4 (out of 10)

As I have not yet "officially" consumed a non-A.M. Crunchwrap in my Taco Bell travels, I cannot offer a comparison here between the A.M. Crunchwrap and its dinner menu counterpart.  But the dominant sensation from my consumption of the A.M. Crunchwrap with Bacon:  that is a lot of tortilla.  One is not immediately aware of how much tortilla exists here upon first gazing at the A.M. Crunchwrap because there are so many folds and because it is presented in such a compact package.  But trust me:  there is a lot of fucking tortilla here.  So much so it seemed that I was chewing on this thing for days.

Another notable aspect of the A.M. Crunchwrap is that the "crunch" is supplied solely by the hash brown component.  This facet of the A.M. Crunchwrap played rather well.  I was skeptical that a hash brown wrapped inside of a tortilla could be sufficiently crispy to offer a crunch, but the hash brown delivered in this respect.  The eggs and cheese were once again tasty, but the eggs were noticeably less fluffy than in the Waffle Taco -- probably because they were tightly compacted inside of approximately 627 square inches of tortilla.

Another quibble:  the "Creamy Jalapeño Sauce" referenced in the official description was all but undetectable.  (And since when is Creamy Jalapeño Sauce a "classic breakfast taste," anyways?)  The bacon was detectable, but it was unfortunately chopped into teeny-tiny "piecelets."  I had to douse this sucker in Mild Sauce -- again, I erred on the side of caution and decided that 9:30 in the morning was just too damn early to combine Fire Sauce and my stomach lining -- just to lubricate the tortilla enough to get the whole thing down my esophagus.  For the price paid ($2.49) you are getting a heaping helping of tortilla and not enough of everything else.

My first breakfast at the Bell was thus a mixed bag:  the hugely surprising Waffle Taco with Sausage, and the relatively disappointing A.M. Crunchwrap with Bacon.  I washed it all down with a Diet Mountain Dew.

Here is the receipt from my virgin Taco Bell breakfast blog experience:

Till next time, loyal reader.

Visit #4: Monday, May 26, 2014: 2:39 PM

I don't believe this particular topic has been explored on the "Live Mas" blog up to this point, but I tend to be forgetful.  Not all the time, and usually not about important things -- there really doesn't seem to be a rhyme or a reason to it.  But forgetfulness reared its head once again this afternoon.  What happened this afternoon?  Visit #4 to Taco Bell.  You may recall that in my last post that I was going to let "The Cravinator" app choose my meal selections for Visit #4.  I, however, completely forgot about this directive when I found myself staring at the Taco Bell menu board on this Memorial Day Monday.  So I apologize for this oversight.

Item #8:  DOUBLE DECKER TACO SUPREME

I feel as if the Double Decker Taco is a massively under marketed item on the Bell menu.  I didn't even know it existed until I saw it on the Taco Bell website a short time ago.  Its premise intrigued me for a couple of reasons:  1. In concept it is rather similar to the Cheesy Gordita Crunch, which I enjoyed; and 2. The refried beans that I had admittedly tasted only once before (in an order of Nachos Supreme) were very tasty on that single occasion.  The official Taco Bell website description:

"A warm, soft flour tortilla spread with hearty beans and wrapped around a crunchy corn taco shell filled with seasoned beef, real cheddar cheese, crisp shredded lettuce, diced ripe tomatoes and reduced-fat sour cream."

Price:  $1.89

Taste:  8.0 (out of 10)

Value:  8.5 (out of 10)

Overall Score:  8.1 (out of 10)

This menu selection delivered pretty much as I expected that it would.  In the pic you can see the soft flour tortilla peeled back to reveal the tasty refried beans.  Inside this layer is the crunchy taco shell.  You get a lot of food for $1.89.  (Compare to the $2.49 paid for the Cheesy Gordita Crunch.)  And it's a pretty tasty combination of flavors and textures as well, though ultimately it falls a bit short of the Cheesy Gordita Crunch, perhaps because there is no pepper jack sauce to be found here.  However, the beans add a nice flavor contrast and make it a bit more hearty as well.  In addition, the always-pleasing crunchy-soft texture contrast is present here.  This is a very solid value and an item I will almost certainly order again.

Item #9:  FRESCO STEAK SOFT TACO

I realize that Taco Bell is not out to compete directly with Chipotle.  They inhabit somewhat different market segments:  Taco Bell seeks to fill the low-cost (but still tasty) Tex-Mex food segment, while Chipotle skews a bit more towards higher cost/fresher ingredients/better quality.  But let me gripe about something for a moment:  one aspect of Chipotle's food that I truly enjoy is their lettuce.  I do not know this for a fact, but it appears to be shredded Romaine lettuce.  (Taco Bell's lettuce product is without question shredded Iceberg lettuce.)

The more tender Romaine lettuce provides a more refined mouth feel.  ("Mouth feel" is one of those foodie terms that I try to avoid, but it seems appropriate here.)  Iceberg lettuce is appropriate in certain settings:  I enjoy it on cold subs, for instance.  But when it is mixed with a heated meat component, it can degenerate into something that takes on a less-than-appealing texture.  Romaine does not seem to be susceptible to this phenomenon.  I bring up the lettuce comparison here in the context of the Fresco Steak Soft Taco.  The official Taco Bell website description:

"This Taco Bell Fresco taco is a warm, soft flour tortilla filled with grilled steak, crisp shredded lettuce, and pico de gallo."

Price:  $1.99

Taste:  6.0 (out of 10)

Value:  4.5 (out of 10)

Overall Score:  5.6 (out of 10)

The reason for the lettuce discussion above:  if you are going to eliminate one of the hardcore components of nearly all Taco Bell menu items -- cheese -- then you had better be damn sure that what is left tastes good.  But the "pico" (seemed like diced tomatoes to me) and lettuce without the usual accompanying cheese is just kind of bland and slightly gross.  The steak here was decent, but the $1.99 price tag was ridiculous.

When compared to the LOWER-PRICED $1.89 Double Decker Taco Supreme, it's no contest.  I realize that this menu item is there to ostensibly offer a lower-calorie option.  And it is true that omitting cheese lowers the caloric content.  But the incredible-tasting Spicy Chicken Cool Ranch Doritos Locos Taco (see my blog post for Visit #1) has only 170 calories.  This one clocked in at 160 calories.  So i order to save 10 calories you have to eat something that tastes like crap?  No thanks.  You can (and should) do better, Taco Bell.

Item #10:  SMOTHERED BURRITO (Shredded Chicken)

The Smothered Burrito is a relatively recent Taco Bell menu addition that was the subject of a rather intense marketing campaign.  It comes in its own plastic bowl, and it is rather visually appealing:  lots of cheese, lots of red sauce, and a nice, fat burrito topped with sour cream.  Having said that, however, I was not prepared for the price of this menu item:  $3.99.  That's poking into real Mexican restaurant price territory, so Taco Bell had better be prepared to deliver the goods taste-wise.  The official Taco Bell website description:

"Our new Smothered Burrito is filled with shredded chicken, premium Latin rice, hearty beans, and creamy chipotle sauce.  Then it's smothered with red sauce, loads of melted cheeses and topped with reduced-fat sour cream."

Price:  $3.99

Taste:  7.0 (out of 10)

Value:  4.0 (out of 10)

Overall Score:  6.3 (out of 10)

I will say this for the Smothered Burrito:  it did taste pretty good.  I was a fan of the beans, the chicken and the tangy red sauce.  It had a nice spice note to it as well.  But the rice.  Oh, the rice.  I would estimate that two-thirds of this sizable burrito's heft is due to the "premium Latin rice."  It didn't taste bad, but there was just so much of it.  Total rice overkill (and buzzkill).

Another plus:  This was a pretty filling menu item.  (But then again, it had better be for 4 bucks.)  But meat was difficult to find.  So were the beans.  I keep coming back to the rice.  Why, Taco Bell?  Why so much rice?  The Smothered Burrito had the potential to be a total home run.  Taco Bell seems to have viewed it as a way to charge $4 for something that could/should cost considerably less.  Consider the $2.49-priced Cheesy Potato Burrito.  It offers just as much heft, and comparably good taste (though is sauceless), for a much more reasonable price.  Even at $3.29 or so -- which should be enough of a financial cushion to allow for the addition of red sauce and plastic packaging -- this would be a much more palatable menu option.

I should note once again that the red sauce was really tasty.  The dish did have more of a traditional Mexican taste than anything I have previously experienced at Taco Bell.  But I could get a $4 chicken burrito at a Mexican restaurant with much more meat and much less rice filler.  The Smothered Burrito is not "Living Mas."  Shame on you, Taco Bell.

My receipt for Visit #4...Note that I got Happy Hour pricing on my Diet Mountain Dew!

Visit #3: Thursday, May 22, 2014: 7:01 PM

I just returned home from Border Run #3.  This marked my third meal from Taco Bell in the past 5 days.  I am happy to report that I am experiencing absolutely no Taco Bell fatigue.  (I have a feeling that might set in eventually, but hopefully not.)

A quick note before getting down to the nitty-gritty:  Did you know that there is a Taco Bell mobile app?  (Maybe other restaurant chains have these, but I didn't bother to check.)  The app itself seems to be a glorified menu for your mobile device.  You can surf through all of the menu awesomeness in a format that is pretty conducive to viewing on a smallish screen.  You can also find the nearest Taco Bell location, although the veracity of the data might be a tad suspect:  it states that the Taco Bell nearest to my house has no drive thru window.  (My local Taco Bell DOES have a drive thru window, so my first impression is that the Taco Bell app is a bit of a dumbass.)  Is there such a thing as a Taco Bell without a drive thru window?  I guess the locations at malls and airports don't have one.  But a freestanding Taco Bell without a drive thru window?  How the hell would I get a burrito at 2AM?  Of course, I am viewing this through the prism of my much younger self, since there is virtually no way I would be awake at 2AM these days unless my body was reacting especially poorly to a meal I consumed at Taco Bell at 7PM the previous evening.

There is another segment within the mobile app called "The Cravinator."  You can indicate up to 9 different cravings that you are having -- side note:  is it even possible for a human being to crave 9 different things at the once? -- and The Cravinator will select the appropriate menu item for you.  For instance, I indicated that I was craving something "Spicy," "Melty," and "Legendary."  The Cravinator told me that I needed to get some Volcano Nachos.  I think I am going to let The Cravinator pick my next Taco Bell meal (Visit #4), assuming that it doesn't crank out a result that is a duplicate of something I consumed on one of my first three visits.


Item #5:  SOFT CHICKEN TACO

Tonight I once again went with the Dine In option, with Diet Dew once again my beverage of choice.  For my first selection I went with a totally generic menu item:  the soft chicken taco.  After all, not everything on the menu can be a super-sexy choice.  Sometimes you just need/want something basic.  Per the official Taco Bell website description:

"A warm, soft flour tortilla filled with shredded chicken, topped with crisp lettuce and real cheddar cheese."

Price:  $1.49

Taste:  6.5 (out of 10)

Value:  5.5 (out of 10)

Overall Score:  6.3 (out of 10)

First of all, let me say that there was nothing overtly BAD about the taste of this item.  It was just completely unremarkable.  Once I had chewed a couple of bites of this soft chicken taco, I decided to add some Verde Salsa to this sucker.  Good move!  I had never tried the Verde Salsa before, but its flavor actually blended pretty nicely with the flavor of the shredded chicken.  It made the whole chicken soft taco much more flavorful, since the only other ingredients present besides the chicken are both a little bit on the bland side:  cheese and lettuce.  Here's a pic of the Verde Salsa along with his good buddy, Fire Sauce:

Tonight I also noticed for the first time that Taco Bell offers a Picante Sauce.  I filed that factoid away for use on subsequent visits.

My major problem with the soft chicken taco was a disturbing lack of chicken.  You can probably tell from the pic above that there really wasn't much there.  It wasn't that I expected to be full after eating one soft chicken taco; I just expect a little more for the $1.49 price.  Hence, the low Value Score.  All in all, a decent-tasting but mostly unremarkable bite.


Item #6:  CHEESE ROLL-UP

The Cheese Roll-Up can be found on Taco Bell's "Specialties" menu.  From what I can gather, everything that cannot be classified as a Taco, Burrito, Gordita, Chalupa, Salad or Nachos qualifies as a "Specialty."  I had no idea what to expect from this one, but my expectations were pretty low.  Here's the Taco Bell website description:

"A flour tortilla rolled up with a three cheese blend melted to perfection."

Price:  $0.89

Taste:  5.0 (out of 10)

Value:  5.5 (out of 10)

Overall Score:  5.1 (out of 10)

First impression:  this thing was really small.  Practically tiny.  It was about as thick as a robust cigar.  I cut it in half to see that it was indeed basically as described:  melted cheese wrapped up in a tortilla.  If the cheese in question had a stronger flavor I think this might actually have a chance to be a bit more successful.  As presently constructed, however, it's a pretty bland roll of tortilla and cheese.  On a positive note, however, I dunked the remainder of it in Fire Sauce and it tasted much, much better!  Outside of that alteration I cannot in good conscience recommend the Cheese Roll-Up.


Item #7:  NACHOS SUPREME

Up until this point it has been a mildly disappointing (but inexpensive!) meal.  Nachos Supreme time, baby!  I had never tried any nachos at Taco Bell other than their plain, undressed nachos with nacho cheese dipping sauce in the sad little plastic cup.  So this was definitely a foray into the unknown, but I was cautiously optimistic.  The Taco Bell website description:

"Crisp, freshly prepared daily tortilla chips covered with seasoned beef, hearty beans, warm nacho cheese sauce, diced ripe tomatoes, and reduced-fat sour cream."

Price:  $2.19

Taste:  8.0 (out of 10)

Value:  7.0 (out of 10)

Overall Score:  7.8 (out of 10)

When you consider that you would pay three times (at least) the price of the Nachos Supreme for a much less appetizing presentation of nachos at a sporting event or movie theater, these are a relative bargain at $2.19.  The portion size is not huge but is decent for the price you are paying.  But the facet of this menu selection that surprised me the most was how good it tasted.  It was delicious.  There were ample amounts of seasoned ground beef -- which can taste pretty bland when squished into a soft tortilla but was really good in this context -- and refried beans.  (The refried beans were especially tasty, not bland in the least.)

In addition, the tomatoes had none of the unpleasant acidic nastiness that plagued my Steak Meximelt from a few days prior.  All of the ingredients worked very nicely together.  I would caution anyone who orders the Nachos Supreme to eat them very promptly, as the chips themselves are on the thin and airy side and absorb the other ingredients fairly quickly.  My one minor gripe would be that the inclusion of just 2 more chips would have yielded just about the perfect ratio of chips to toppings -- I had a small pile of leftover toppings after the chips were gone.  But these were some tasty nachos!

Here's tonight's receipt:

That's it for Meal #3.  For my next meal I will rely on The Cravinator.  Things could get dicey.

Visit #2: Wednesday, May 21, 2014: 6:17 PM

Today marked my second run to the border (Yes, I know that "Make a run for the border" has not been a part of Taco Bell's advertising lexicon since the early 90's, but those were my formative years, dammit!) since the start of my epic campaign to eat my way through the entire menu.  It was a bit of a crazy day at work and I only had time to cruise through the drive thru -- no dining in for me this evening.

**Tantrum Tangent**

Allow me to digress for a moment.  I mentioned above that I did not have all the time in the world for eating tonight.  As I could see the Taco Bell drive thru as I approached the restaurant, I noted that there were only two vehicles waiting and thought this would be a pretty speedy endeavor.  I was WRONG.

A huge jacked-up pickup truck driven by a blonde woman came from the other direction and just beat me into the drive thru lane.  No big deal, this was just one more vehicle to wait for; plus, by the time I came to a stop the first of the aforementioned two vehicles had already pulled away.  At this point it was just the one vehicle at the window, then the pickup truck at the ordering speaker, then me.

I began to have inklings that things might be progressing in a less than ideal fashion when I noticed that the blonde woman was asking questions.  Lots of questions.  I couldn't make out much of what she was asking but I caught snippets like "Do you have..." and "Can I get..." and so forth.  The ordering process took her about two full minutes.  I once again figured this was no big deal -- she probably wasn't too familiar with the Taco Bell menu, but what the hell, she had managed to make her selections and had pulled up to the window.

I placed my order quickly (since I knew what I wanted) and pulled up behind the pickup truck.  I saw food being passed from the window to the blonde woman and waited expectantly for the truck to pull forward.  This did not happen.  I saw a Taco Bell employee leaning out the window and gesturing with her hands.  This was followed by the blonde woman waving the receipt out the window and also gesturing.

At this point a bag of food passed from the truck back into the hands of the employee at the window.  I actually heard said employee say "Oh, you mean the burrito...the one that is wrapped in a soft tortilla."  This blonde woman did not know what a fucking burrito was.  The human race is doomed.  These are the types of people who are reproducing.  I am still so dumbfounded I can scarcely process what took place earlier tonight.

Sorry about that tangent...on to the main event!

**End Tantrum Tangent**

Item #4:  CHEESY GORDITA CRUNCH

I chose only one menu item tonight:  the Cheesy Gordita Crunch.  I had been eyeing this particular item for quite a while and had decided that I would definitely be consuming one of these on one of my first few visits to the Bell.  The official Taco Bell website description:

"Warm, pillowy flatbread covered in a melted three-cheese blend, wrapped around a crunchy taco and topped with a zesty Pepper Jack sauce."

Price:  $2.49

Taste:  9.5 (out of 10)

Value:  7.5 (out of 10)

Overall Score:  9.0 (out of 10)

As I suspected it would be, the Cheesy Gordita Crunch was truly delicious.  This is an inspired piece of fast food art.  As I would suspect the case to be with most Taco Bell customers, my earliest memories of eating Taco Bell tacos are of eating their regular crunchy tacos.  Crunchy taco shells taste good!  My issue with crunchy taco shells is that they always feel a bit thin.  You can eat three crunchy tacos and feel like you haven't eaten anything.  (Maybe that's just me?)  The Cheesy Gordita Crunch solves this problem.  You get all of the crunchy goodness of the crunchy taco shell, plus the pillowy Gordita bread helps to make it a rather filling menu selection.

The other key here is the pepper jack sauce.  I don't have any idea what ingredients comprise this sauce -- though I would be mildly surprised if there is actually any cheese in it -- but it is sooooo good.  As per my usual routine, I doused the whole contraption with some Fire Sauce.  This one's a winner, Taco Bell.  My only mild gripe would be the price/value of the Cheesy Gordita Crunch.  Compared to the sheer food volume of the similarly priced Cheesy Potato Burrito, this one comes up a bit short.

Here's my receipt for this evening's meal:

Keep it real, peeps.  Until next time...