Item #47: SAUSAGE FLATBREAD MELT
First up on this A.M.'s Breakfast Menu trifecta: the Sausage Flatbread Melt. From the Taco Bell website:
"Warm flatbread filled with a delicious sausage patty and cheddar cheese, then grilled to melted perfection."
Price: $1.00
Taste: 7.5 (out of 10)
Value: 8.0 (out of 10)
Overall Score: 7.6 (out of 10)
Savory sausage is typically a delectable treat, and the spicier the better. Generally speaking, however, I am not a fan of breakfast sausage, which can often be too sweet for my taste. So I wasn't expecting much from the Sausage Flatbread Melt.
Similar to the sausage version of the Waffle Taco, however, the Sausage Flatbread Melt was not an unpleasant breakfast mouthful. I think the key to its success is that it doesn't try to be anything more than it should be. The pleasant grilled flavor from the flatbread complements the sausage nicely. The cheese adds a pleasantly salty component. I am definitely not a proponent of huge portions of food for breakfast, and the Sausage Flatbread Melt's size is just right. This is solid execution of an unspectacular idea -- the type of thing that fast food restaurant chains too often screw up. Good job, Border.
Item #48: CHEESY FIESTA POTATO BURRITO
Next up: the Cheesy Fiesta Potato Burrito. The official website description:
"Delicious seasoned fiesta potatoes, a double portion of fluffy scrambled eggs and lots of warm, melted cheddar cheese, all wrapped up in a warm flour tortilla."
Price: $1.99
Taste: 6.0 (out of 10)
Value: 5.5 (out of 10)
Overall Score: 5.9 (out of 10)
Like the Sausage Flatbread Melt, the Cheesy Fiesta Potato Burrito sports an uncomplicated concept. But somehow you screwed this one up, Taco Bell, and you managed to do it using only 3 ingredients: cheese, potatoes, and eggs.
First of all, my patience for Taco Bell menu items that arrive in an UN-grilled tortilla is waning. The grilled flavor is superior. End of discussion. Secondly, there is too much wetness here. Perhaps the scrambled eggs were not the correct consistency, but one can easily judge from the picture above that the interior is glistening with excess moisture. Thirdly, the potatoes are seasoned insufficiently to overcome the bland-tasting globs of wet eggs. Fourthly, there is no textural contrast here. Just mouthful after monotonous mouthful of starch and cheesy, unhatched chicken babies. This is the worst-scoring breakfast item to date.
Though I have a hunch that I might enjoy these more if they contained about 50% less frosting in their gooey middles, that's really a minor complaint. My primary quibble here would be the price: $1.00 -- in other words, the same price as the Sausage Flatbread Melt detailed two items prior in this very post -- is just too much for 2 donut-hole-sized bites. (It should be noted that this item is also available in 4-packs and 12-packs, and I am guessing that the "per-Delight" price is more reasonable in those quantities.)
This morning's receipt (note that it includes a Bacon A.M. Crunchwrap for my girl):
The next installment of this author's Live Mas adventure will include the 50th different menu item consumed to date. That's a lot. I know you are looking forward to it, dear reader! (Probably not...)
First of all, my patience for Taco Bell menu items that arrive in an UN-grilled tortilla is waning. The grilled flavor is superior. End of discussion. Secondly, there is too much wetness here. Perhaps the scrambled eggs were not the correct consistency, but one can easily judge from the picture above that the interior is glistening with excess moisture. Thirdly, the potatoes are seasoned insufficiently to overcome the bland-tasting globs of wet eggs. Fourthly, there is no textural contrast here. Just mouthful after monotonous mouthful of starch and cheesy, unhatched chicken babies. This is the worst-scoring breakfast item to date.
Item #49: CINNABON DELIGHTS (2-PACK)
And finally: my first crack at the Border's Cinnabon Delights. The official website description:
"Warm, golden bite-sized pastries filled with Cinnabon frosting and covered with Makara cinnamon sugar."
Price: $1.00
Taste: 8.5 (out of 10)
Value: 4.5 (out of 10)
Overall Score: 7.5 (out of 10)
I don't typically enjoy breakfast. I also don't typically enjoy dessert. So what could possibly be better than having dessert for breakfast? Actually, not much. These tiny globes of fried dough are pretty fucking awesome.
Though I have a hunch that I might enjoy these more if they contained about 50% less frosting in their gooey middles, that's really a minor complaint. My primary quibble here would be the price: $1.00 -- in other words, the same price as the Sausage Flatbread Melt detailed two items prior in this very post -- is just too much for 2 donut-hole-sized bites. (It should be noted that this item is also available in 4-packs and 12-packs, and I am guessing that the "per-Delight" price is more reasonable in those quantities.)
This morning's receipt (note that it includes a Bacon A.M. Crunchwrap for my girl):
The next installment of this author's Live Mas adventure will include the 50th different menu item consumed to date. That's a lot. I know you are looking forward to it, dear reader! (Probably not...)
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